Fuck..... is this the right time to use this word?


I dunno why, i am feeling so left out and worse still JEALOUS!
fuck it la... Aarrgghh i hate all this shitty polictics
this is a perfect example of when i really wish i had a sister jus slightly
older or younger then me.
mayb then i can cry on her shoulders or vent my frustration out at her.

No wait if i had a sister, i wldnt be feeling so left out now at all!
i would not be feeling jealous at all
i would not even bothere abt all this shitty happenings

Haiz

Mums just told me, kiran is in charge of the whole engagment
yah i know i said no to the performance due to
family polictic issues!
but this so dosent mean, you totally throw me out of the equation!
i am feeling so dammit left out!
yah totally

Once, i was the apple of all their eyes
without me there was no laughter no happiness
i used to bring joy to all their lifes
but now, be there amreet or no amreet,
theres no fucking DIFFERENCE
yah imagine how i feel

mum says its my fault i feel like that
yah maybe it is
i moved away from them
and went towards the other side

in my life last time
there were like a few precious pple
but thy meant the world to me

Now out of the few,
two remain my precious
and two more have made me feel special
but with them come more problems,
more polictics
more hatred within

I really dunno what to do now
I duno who to move towards
who to make my pillars
who to lay my love on
i am lost!

Mayb if things were the same as past,
today i would be so involved in all the preparations
today i would be the one smilling the most
i would be counting down the days to the D day

But sadly things arent this way

Now not that i arent happy with my life
i have jindo and kesh who have known me FOREVER
i love them like trillions bilions
thy honestly mean everything to me
esp jindo
shes seen me in all lights
i love them!

but why isit that with addition comes more
and more
and more
more hatred
i am confused
someone understand it and tell me
wad to do
tell me how to be who i was
tell me how not to feel as lousy as i feel now

mayb life is fucked up!